Ever feel like the weight of the world is crushing you? Well, we've all been there, lost and overwhelmed in our sea of thoughts, unable to grasp the present moment. This episode is about rediscovering that sense of control, about making peace with the now, and understanding why it's so crucial for our mental health. I'll share my own struggles with fear and anxiety, and how learning to exist in the present moment changed everything for me.
As we continue this journey of self-discovery, we'll explore the power of choice, the importance of not just making decisions, but also standing by them. This episode is about understanding that we have control over our lives, that change is possible, and it starts with us. We'll discuss how to cultivate trust in yourself and your abilities, and how this trust shapes our reality. It's about taking ownership, making those difficult decisions, and believing in their potential to transform your life.
In the final act, we'll dream together. Let's envision a world that not only respects diversity, but celebrates it. A world that is built on the foundations of trust, inclusivity, and healing. We'll discuss how our beliefs have the power to shape our reality, and how we can use this knowledge to create the world we wish to see. So, join me, Amanda Quick, as we learn to harness the power of the present moment and our ability to shape our realities. It's time to trust in our inner voice, cherish our unique attributes, highlight the significance of dreaming, and the importance of using our power effectively to co-create a more inclusive world.
Welcome back to the Amanda Quick Show. I am your host, amanda Quick, today's episode. I want to talk about a little bit more perhaps tangible ways that we can change our perspectives, the ways that we can look at what's currently going on in our life and do something about it if we're not happy with our current experience. This last several weeks in the world has been particularly challenging. The news cycle is honestly horrible and, coupled with rising interest rates and economy craziness and job markets and all of the things and a little war happening on this planet, it can leave a lot of people feeling not just stressed but absolutely terrified, and our nervous systems are on high alert. And if we already weren't living our best lives and in full trust of our path and our purpose, it adds a whole new layer to it. I'm finding even those of us who have done quite a bit of work it still is bringing things up that we thought we'd addressed, we thought we were over, we thought we got that one, and I know, even for myself, as hard as this last couple weeks has been. I can only imagine how much harder it would have been. And yet my experience is still very, really invalid and I've been, you know, had days where I just didn't want to do anything. I didn't want to get up, I didn't want to get out of bed, I didn't want to. I just I just didn't want to. And I don't think I'm alone in that. And I've been able to pick myself back up, I've been able to find joy in things and I've been able to kind of wrap my head around what exactly is important to me and how do I make those things a priority. But it wasn't without a lot of effort. And you know, last week we talked about finding that element of pride and what we're doing and how that really helped shift things for me. And and as I kind of went through this this last week, I was really finding myself aware that there's so much that I wasn't feeling prideful about and, at the same time, so much that I had almost forgotten. And I think that this, this happens to us a lot and you know most people I know they live, at least if they live in their heads, which is a lot of people. And we live in our heads and our stories that we tell ourselves and our mind doesn't stop moving, and a lot of times those stories are past events, things we wish we did differently, or conversations that didn't go like we wanted them to and we replayed them over and over again, or we fret about potentials in the future. We kind of live in one of the two spaces. We live either in the past or in the future and we fret about the potentials of what if this happens, or what if that happens? Or you know what if you know, nobody likes this, this work I did, or nobody wants to buy my book or my product, or nobody, you know. Whatever the thing is, we fret about it. And I know, especially when I was going through really, really challenging times, I would play out scenarios in my mind. I would play out this if this happens, and I'm going to do this, and I would have the whole scene play out in my head, the conversations I would have, how I would react and respond, and I would do this over and over and over again. And on one level, it helped me feel safe that I knew what my reactions and responses would be, and on the other hand, it meant I didn't sleep very much because I was constantly stuck on the what ifs and the maybes and the fears of things getting worse in some other way and most of the time, truthfully, it didn't ever play out like it did in my head ever, which was a good thing, but at the same time, I could not come back to the present. I either fretted about things that had already happened that I had no control over, or fretted about what might happen. And I think this is pretty common that most people, especially if you're not 100% happy or enjoying your current reality, there's going to be some part of something that there's a level of worry, there's a level of fear, there's a level of just anxiety. That happens and it's coming from those past and future places. And so, as I was kind of going through this week and I was thinking about all of the places that I'm struggling still and thinking about things that I still beat myself up about, things that I, choices that I made that haven't played out in the way that I wanted them to, or I don't understand the lesson in yet at least, and things that might happen or not be able to happen in the future because of those choices, and I sit with myself and I have so much, not just anxiety but judgment of myself in those times and I have so much why did you make those decisions and what were you thinking? And blah, blah, blah, blah. And when I do that, I'm keeping myself even further in these stories, these past and future stories. I'm keeping myself stuck there and something I realized, actually I was reading, I was reading last night and what I realized was what I struggle the most to actually do is be in the present. And it's funny because you know anybody in any of the professional development or mental health or spiritual communities. It's all about the present. We know that and yet, gosh, it is really flip and hard to be in the present, in the present moment, all the time. And you know, I've read the Power of Now. I definitely highly recommend that book if you want to know more about how to be in the present. But it was this reminder, as I was reading last night, that not just the importance of the present, but actually the present is all the power that we have. It's not just the power of now, but now is our power, because all we actually have control over is now. That's it. We don't have control over the past, we don't have control over the future, and we never did as much as we try to convince ourselves that we do. All we have control over is now. That's it, in every single moment, in every single day. Now, that's all we have, and that's not a bad thing. There's actually a. Really honestly, it's a good thing and it's kind of a weight off your shoulders when you realize all I have is now. I don't need to worry about the past or the future, because now is the decision that I have to make, and there's this idea that all of the power in this now moment is actually what defines our current reality. All of the beliefs about who we are in this now moment define our external circumstances, and so what that means is that the decision that you make in this moment about who you are, what you're capable of, what your boundaries are, what's okay and what's not okay, how you want to show up in the world, who you think you are, who you believe you truly are and is a human in this planet, on the world all of that is all that actually matters, because the decisions and the beliefs about who you are today, right now, define who you are today, right now, every day, all day, and the more that we spend time focused on this moment, the more that everything else around us starts to arrange itself to support those beliefs. I 100% believe that we are the creators of our reality, and I know this is a hard one for people, because If we're the creators of our reality, then why have I created this situation that I'm in, whatever it is, and man, do I get it? I 100% I have been there. When I realized that I was still creating the reality with my ex-husband and my children, that was a hard frickin' moment, because if I was creating it, I was allowing it and I was. I was an active participant in it. And no, I'm not the one who chose to go do deviant behaviors, absolutely not. But I was still continuing to, continuing to choose to participate in life with this man, and the level of accountability I had to take for that choice and those beliefs was 100%. And once I saw that I can't, I can't unsee it and the moment I made the change to no longer participate in that reality, to no longer see any good in him, to no longer have any any desire to be connected in any way, shape or form, six weeks later it all changed. And so it wasn't like I woke up one day. My beliefs changed and everything immediately changed. It wasn't like I jumped, jumped into a whole new house and body or anything of this sort. No, but it was pretty frickin' fast otherwise, because the physical takes some time to adjust. We don't just wake up in a new body, in a new house, a millionaire, if we believe we can be one. It doesn't quite. Doesn't quite work that way, although that would be. That would be kind of fun. But at the same time, if we were that instant at manifesting every time we were down on ourselves, we might blow something up. So we'd have to be pretty careful if we were really that quick. But I digress. The reality of being that creator of self, of our experience in our environment, means that we actually have to take a level of accountability, the level of entire accountability of what we're experiencing and how we're reacting and responding to our circumstances. And if we're not happy with them, then we need to figure out why we're choosing them. Why are we okay with what's happening? Why are we participating in life this way? Why are we showing up every day if we don't want to be here? That doesn't really make any sense. And if we've got a bunch of beliefs about why we have to, then we need to take a look at those beliefs. If we think we have to go to the job that we hate because otherwise we're worthless, well, we've got to take a look at that. And why do we think that? And is this something our parents taught us? Is this something society has taught us? How many other examples of people out there do we need to see there's other possible ways to survive. There are a lot, by the way, and maybe it's not that, maybe it's. I don't believe that I'm worthy of finding somebody who loves me in the way that I need or who can support me in the way that I need, or whatever the other things are. And you continue to be in relationship after relationship where you feel like a parent or you feel abused, or you feel not an equal or whatever the thing is. Why do you keep creating this and choosing it? Because ultimately you are, and that's not a comfortable place to be, and it is really, really challenging to see where we are an active participant in our own trauma. But once we do, then we start to realize wait a minute, if I chose this, I can un-choose it, I can choose something different, but I have to believe in myself and I don't have to believe in myself in the future. I have to believe in myself now, in this moment, today. I have to choose and recognize that all of the power, all of it, is in the now. Every single moment is an active choice who you are, who you wish to be, what reality you want to participate in and how you are valued in that reality. All of those beliefs about yourself, about your circumstances, about your health, about your wealth, about your relationships everything stems from your belief in self, your belief in who you are and who you've chosen to be. Who you've chosen to be. Connect to how you've chosen to be reactive or non-reactive in situations. All of the power always exists only in this, now, and so, as you're thinking about this, I want you to ask yourself what do you believe about yourself right now? Do you believe that you're a good mom or a good dad? Do you believe that you're somebody who is capable of earning only a certain amount of money? Do you believe that you are a good friend, a good partner? Or perhaps there are things you are less proud of? Do you believe that you put everything into your work or your purpose, or what you're here to do, or is that not actually as important to you? Are you somebody who believes in fun and enjoyment just for the sake of existing, and the most important thing to you is perhaps the experiences that you get to have and the relationships you create? None of these choices are wrong. None of them. None of the choices even the ones that are creating experiences that you don't quite enjoy are wrong choices. And so, as you start to examine these things and start to go, anything about my life I'm not happy with is something I've created. This isn't the moment to beat yourself up. This isn't the moment to say, oh, I did this to me while it was me. No, this is the moment to say there was a reason, there was a reason I chose this, whatever this is. There was a reason I chose to have less money in this moment, or there was a reason I chose these relationships, or there's a reason I chose to live in this situation. Whatever that is, and maybe I need to know the reason. Perhaps that's valuable because once I've learned the lesson, maybe I can decide. I've learned enough of it, but maybe I don't even need to know why. Maybe it doesn't even matter. Maybe all I need to know is I'm done making that choice. I'm over it. I'm done living this experience. I'm done giving my power away. I'm done believing that somebody else is more important than I am or smarter than I am or whatever it is. I'm done thinking that I'm a worthless piece of you. Know what I'm done. I'm ready to take my place in the world, whatever that is and maybe I don't even know what it is I'm taking my place in. Maybe I don't even know what is important to me yet. That's okay. One of the hardest questions to answer is actually what do you want? Because we can spend so much time finding all the things we don't want, it's really hard to go. This is what I want. I get it. There are still days that I don't entirely know what it is I want. I know what is important to me, I know what I value, and that can be enough. Perhaps you're somebody that values connection and community and relationships. That's enough. Perhaps you're somebody that values puzzles and taking things apart and putting them back together and understanding every single side and dimension of a problem or a situation. That can be enough. Perhaps you're somebody that values the, the extensity of the experience and the highs and the lows and the ways that all of our emotions pass through us as we read beautiful stories or we look at beautiful artwork, and you get to experience this wide array of things and that's perhaps something that you value, and even that can be enough. All of these things are important to someone and none of them are wrong, and if you're somebody who's still trying things on, that's okay too. You're experimenting, you're learning. The less that we can hold judgment of our choices of experience, the easier, the easier it is to see it and start to choose a new one. Now, when I look back at my story and my life over the last not quite 10 years, but when I look back to the time when I finally made the decision to be done to be done, done, done with my ex-husband to be done. Playing that game to be done. Giving any effort to helping or healing him to being done. Believing that my children needed an unstable parent in their lives to be done. Being connected to him in any lifetime. I did it in an instant, in a moment, in the now. I made the decision that I was done, and that decision affected my past and my future. It affected it because I continued to believe in each future. Now that that was still true and I took actions based on that belief and I kept going until my external reality reflected it, and it's still to this day. Sometimes I sit in almost awe of how fast it changed and I take that as the really really beautiful example of what is possible when we really really hold ourselves accountable and we really really take ownership of the choices we made and our ability to change them and to trust ourself to follow through, because I changed so dramatically that everything around me changed with me, my children changed with me, and while it's now been three and a half years and you know there's still challenges yes, they're not the same challenges, but a long shot and we still have lots to learn together. Of course, kids come with their own sets of lessons and their own sets of choices, but we don't have that one anymore and I get to use this as an example, not just for all of you out there, but for myself, of what I know I'm capable of doing and I've proven to myself who I am capable of being, and I think that's really important, because I know there's been situations where I've tried to make as firm of a decision and say this is what I'm doing, this is. I'm making this happen because I said so and I'm sticking to it. But I don't believe myself yet. And if I don't actually believe what I'm saying I'm doing, the belief isn't there and nothing actually shifts. And so this isn't about pretending. This isn't about fake it till you make it. No, this is about radical accountability and radical honesty with ourselves. What do you truly believe about you? Not what you want to believe or what the right answer is supposed to be here, but what do you actually believe about yourself? One of the ones I found recently, probably in the last year. That was really kind of. It was really hard to admit to myself, but it's a belief that I've held since I was a young child, and it's a deeper one. That's been. It creeps up from time to time is, oh, there's still a piece there. And that belief for me was that I didn't matter, that I didn't matter to those around me and that I eventually realized I didn't matter to myself. I put other people above myself, other people's triggers above my own, other people's emotional instability, other people's needs and desires and I didn't matter. In comparison and this one's been harder to unravel, especially as a mother, but the more I see how that belief has manifested into my life and the more I see how that means, at some point I do feel like I've been taken advantage of. But that's just not true. I've not been taken advantage of. I've been creating my reality based on my beliefs. It's not the same thing, because these people reacting are subconsciously hearing I don't matter, it's not an active thing. They're playing out their version of their beliefs about themselves in reaction and response to my own. And that's ultimately what this life game is about is co-creating between beliefs with another. And so it's really, really important that we really take honest, radical look at ourselves. And if you also hold the belief that you don't matter, that you're not worthy, that you're not capable, that you're not good enough, that everybody else's can do those things but you can't, well, you're going to continue to prove yourself right. You're going to continue to put yourself in situations where you get to show that's true. You get to see see, I'm not. And even if it's not a conscious conversation with yourself, it's still there. And the more awareness that we can bring to those unconscious beliefs unconscious beliefs the less unconscious they become and the louder at least in my experience that they get, and the louder that they get, the harder it is to ignore them. And eventually something happens and you say, wait a minute, I do matter, damn it, I do matter, I have to matter. And if I don't matter to anybody else around me, well, I matter to me. And when you can get there, when you can get there, I matter. I matter, I'm worthy, I'm capable, I'm smart enough, I'm good enough, I'm just as smart as everybody else. Then you can start to own that in this now moment. You can own it and believe it in this now moment. And then you can start to take action from this now moment to further ground it into this physical experience. And the more consistently and repetitively you do that, the faster everything around you starts to prove you now right again, that you do in fact matter. And this is where we see people have massive life transformations, seemingly overnight, because all of a sudden, new opportunities arrive on their doorstep. They arrive on their doorstep and there they are. Oh my God, I do matter. I do matter because somebody else is actually showing me I do matter and I get to believe it to myself in a new way. This is where the power truly lies In the now. The now is our connection to the physical and the spiritual. Every single now moment. And it happens. It's happens and it's gone. It's immediately the past, the moment it happens. But there is power in that, in the belief today, here now, and I want all of you to think about truly, what do you believe about yourself right now? Who are you right now and how are you showing up for yourself in that belief right now, every single moment of every single day, that's all we have, this chosen version of experience, and enjoying and finding the experiences that you desire to have and fully believing them and being in them really starts to help change things. And it can be frustrating if it's not instant and it can take a toll on our beliefs of well, I'm not sure I really can believe this because I haven't seen proof yet. That's the hard part. The proof comes later. The proof of our ability to change our life comes after we already believe it's possible. We have to learn to believe in ourselves, to trust ourselves, our inner knowings, our truth of who we are, before anybody else or anything else can change, and I know that that's not always the way we want things to go. But truly, that's where real transformation happens Comeings from self first, belief in self first, and our ability to then put that into motion, our ability to experience that full spectrum of emotions, to experience this now, to allow every part of the experience to be part of this belief, every single frequency of emotion, every single physical, mental, emotional and spiritual part of you must be connected and in full belief of who you are right now. Right now, in this moment, what do you believe to be true about yourself? About who you are and how you were showing up in this world? Ultimately, that's all we have, and the more we ground into that and the more we believe in our ability to change that, the faster everybody's life experience gets to shift exactly how they desire it to be. And the beauty is that we get to work with all of these different conscious beings, all of these other humans and connections, to co-create a world where more and more people recognize their personal power, their personal power to be in their now moments together. And what is this world we are creating? My husband actually, the other day challenged me to make my version of a. I have a dream speech Because, as much as it's challenging to say what do I want when I can look outside of myself and I can think about the world that I wanna live in. That is something I can do, and he challenged me to write it as a as I have a dream speech to really think about the energy that I am working on not just existing in, but believing my own part of, because, for me, I really enjoy feeling purposeful when I'm contributing to something bigger than myself. It's really important to me and I believe that about myself, and so I get frustrated with myself if I don't feel like I'm contributing to the world that I'm creating. And so, if I can, if I can dream it and I can believe my part in it, then that's the reality that I will get to experience alongside those who also desire the same thing. So I wanna share this with you. I shared it on my Facebook wall, but I wanna share it with you on this as well. I dream of a world where everyone trusts their own inner voice, where everyone has full choice of experiences without judgment. Where no one person is seen as better or smarter or more powerful than another. Where our unique qualities are celebrated and not stifled. Where everyone is free to become the best version of themselves, where trauma is eradicated and healing from difficult experiences is normalized, where community support systems are aware of the whole being mental, emotional, physical and spiritual, where collaboration and inclusivity is expected, where respect is given to all ages, races and peoples. That is my dream. That is the world that I desire to co-create with others. That is the person that I desire to be as an active contributor in this world, and so I have to believe, in this now moment, that that is true today. Today, that world exists because I believe it and I believe that I have a place in that world as an active participant, contributor and builder of this world. And my challenge to all of you is to really dig into your own beliefs about who you are, who are you and in which world do you desire to be in? That's all for today, guys. Thank you so much, lots of love.