The Amanda Quick Show

Unveiling the Layers of Safety: Understanding Emotional, Mental, Physical, and Spiritual Security

September 02, 2023 Amanda Quick Season 1 Episode 6
Unveiling the Layers of Safety: Understanding Emotional, Mental, Physical, and Spiritual Security
The Amanda Quick Show
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The Amanda Quick Show
Unveiling the Layers of Safety: Understanding Emotional, Mental, Physical, and Spiritual Security
Sep 02, 2023 Season 1 Episode 6
Amanda Quick

What does safety mean to you? Is it more than just a locked door and a comfortable home? We think so too. In this riveting discussion, we unravel the intricate layers of safety - emotional, mental, spiritual, and of course, physical. We examine how feeling unsafe can impact our lives, our relationships, and even our bodies. We dig into the concept of trauma and how it intertwines with our sense of safety, often creating challenging patterns that are hard to break free from.

Who hasn't heard the phrase 'your emotions are too much'? As we journey deeper, we take on mental safety and its profound influence on our lives. We share stories of individuals who've never felt safe since early childhood, often because their emotions were seen as too overwhelming. Instead of amplifying these emotions, we suggest understanding which emotions are accepted and which ones are not. We also touch on how different people experience safety and discuss ways to feel secure in our environments. From exploring the unique experiences of physicals, emotionals, and spirituals, to a fascinating story of a house sale over a pool issue, we delve into the myriad aspects of safety.

As we draw towards the end of our conversation, we discuss the importance of reconnecting with and trusting your body. We unpack the concept of emotional safety, how it manifests, and how it can be restored. Lastly, we talk about the significance of trusting our intuition and learning to create positive experiences to replace those that make us feel unsafe. By the end of our discussion, you'll gain perspective on creating safety in your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual bodies. So, join us as we take this insightful journey into the world of safety.

Support the Show.

To learn more about Amanda and ways to work with her visit amandaquickhealing.com
To purchase her book visit thesextraffickerswife.com
To support the non-profit: thegoldenhaven.org

To contact Amanda directly email: amanda@amandaquickhealing.com

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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

What does safety mean to you? Is it more than just a locked door and a comfortable home? We think so too. In this riveting discussion, we unravel the intricate layers of safety - emotional, mental, spiritual, and of course, physical. We examine how feeling unsafe can impact our lives, our relationships, and even our bodies. We dig into the concept of trauma and how it intertwines with our sense of safety, often creating challenging patterns that are hard to break free from.

Who hasn't heard the phrase 'your emotions are too much'? As we journey deeper, we take on mental safety and its profound influence on our lives. We share stories of individuals who've never felt safe since early childhood, often because their emotions were seen as too overwhelming. Instead of amplifying these emotions, we suggest understanding which emotions are accepted and which ones are not. We also touch on how different people experience safety and discuss ways to feel secure in our environments. From exploring the unique experiences of physicals, emotionals, and spirituals, to a fascinating story of a house sale over a pool issue, we delve into the myriad aspects of safety.

As we draw towards the end of our conversation, we discuss the importance of reconnecting with and trusting your body. We unpack the concept of emotional safety, how it manifests, and how it can be restored. Lastly, we talk about the significance of trusting our intuition and learning to create positive experiences to replace those that make us feel unsafe. By the end of our discussion, you'll gain perspective on creating safety in your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual bodies. So, join us as we take this insightful journey into the world of safety.

Support the Show.

To learn more about Amanda and ways to work with her visit amandaquickhealing.com
To purchase her book visit thesextraffickerswife.com
To support the non-profit: thegoldenhaven.org

To contact Amanda directly email: amanda@amandaquickhealing.com

Speaker 1:

Hello, welcome back to the Amanda Quick show. I am your host, amanda Quick. Today we're gonna have a conversation about the concept of safety. Now, I've had this conversation on multiple different platforms. I've talked classes about safety, and what I mean by safety isn't just safety in a predator's out to get me or I'm in danger. I'm talking about safety from the place of physical safety, yes, but also emotional safety, mental safety, spiritual safety, because what I've found through the years of healing work I've done and working with other people who have experienced traumas of different kinds, is that the majority of people don't feel safe in their bodies, in their environments, with their emotions, in their relationships, with basically any part of their lives. They are living in a state of fight or flight because they don't feel safe. And since we're all humans in a human body, we are wired to basically fight for safety, find safety at all costs, and if we're not safe, our systems are heightened, the adrenaline is pumping through our veins and we don't ever get to relax, we don't ever get to breathe and we also don't really have complete cognitive ability to think in a lot of ways either.

Speaker 1:

You know I've done a bunch of. We have a puppy. His name is Sunny. He's a very happy golden doodle and been doing different versions of dog training over the last three years that we've had. Him and I took a class about a year ago and they were talking about in a dog's brain there's a red brain and a yellow brain and a green brain and basically red brain is high alert. They see another dog, they see their favorite toy. They're both excited and they're just going for it. And if you've ever been around dogs and they see something they want, they hyper focus on it, they pull, they start barking, all the things they're in red brain and basically a red brain and a dog is them in their fight or flight adrenaline response. They're go, go, go, go, go. And when you're training a dog like that, they teach you. You can't really have a conversation with the dog, you can't. It's much harder to pull them away. It's much harder to get their attention. They don't listen when they're in red brain because their senses are heightened and they're basically incapable of learning in that moment. They're incapable of following in direction and so the goal in dog training is to keep them in green brain as much as possible, and if they're starting to go to yellow, then you got to bring them back to green and you really never want to get to red brain.

Speaker 1:

Well, when I took this class and this kind of aha moment where I was like, oh well, that's what's happening in humans yes, we're not. We're not dogs and we're not hyper focusing on I'm gonna pounce on this other dog or I want to play with this other dog or whatever. But when we get to a heightened state of awareness, like animals, like dogs, like cats, like any creature, we have a pretty incapable of. We're pretty incapable of thinking, of putting together conscious thoughts, and while we're a lot better and a lot smarter than a dog is and you can get our attention, we don't process as well. We definitely have a harder time learning. We definitely have a harder time putting puzzle pieces together and complex ideas and being open to new things. We're much more focused on getting out of the situation or whatever it is we're focused on.

Speaker 1:

And so when I think about safety and I think about the traumas that people have experienced or endured, I think about way that leaves our nervous system and the way that leaves our nervous system in a state of unsafety, in a state of redbrain, in a state of high-delert and for people out there. There's some people who have never felt safe ever, and childhood in their bodies in any situations. They were born to abusive parents, they were brought born to drug-addicted parents, they were born to parents who didn't hear or see them and they never felt safe. And when that happens, you're basically living your life on a heightened state of awareness, trying to human and learn to adapt new environments, learn to receive new information, and it's damn near impossible because your system is trying to do all of that while also on high alert. And so all of the programming that was installed as a child when those things were happening, all of the beliefs about yourself, all of the society expectations, all of the half-dos and supposed-dos that all of us grew up with, they're really hard to undo because they were installed during the state of unsafety and they were installed in us, in these beliefs in us that this is the only way to be safe, even though you were unsafe when you learned those things. But because you have not really been able to unwind that nervous system piece, it gets really hard to then unwind those beliefs, because the whole point of unwinding the nervous system is to get to a place where you feel safe.

Speaker 1:

But if the beliefs that were installed then were about how to be safe, you're kind of at this chicken and egg problem and what I've seen working with people and friends close to me and things like that, is that everybody's version of this is a little bit different. And even myself, when I'm feeling unsafe in myself for whatever reason or things that have happened, I react differently than other people. And what it has really heightened for me and highlighted is that the way that I get it out of it is also different than other people. And this is coming back to the concept that I brought up a couple episodes ago about this new awareness I had of energy types and the way we operate and the way we manifest and the way that we heal. But when I think about the concept of safety and I think about how do we get to a place of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual safety, we can't all do it the same either, and I've taught and I've worked with people on getting to a place of safety in themselves and definitely made progress.

Speaker 1:

But I feel like there are so many people out there who are still like I can conceptually understand what you're saying, but I don't know how to feel it If I've never experienced it, how do I even know what I'm working towards? And for those people, what I want to bring to your attention is there is some point in your soul's journey, some point in your soul's journey where you actually were safe. Maybe it wasn't this lifetime and I know we're jumping into a little bit of woo territory here, but just follow me for a minute. Your consciousness, the thoughts in your head, the energy and the essence of who you are, your consciousness has experienced multiple different things and you're currently present in this body. But if you can open up to the idea that perhaps your consciousness hasn't just existed in this moment and that there was other bodies or experiences that you have experienced, perhaps there's another one where you were safe, I like to think that wherever this consciousness sparks whether you believe it came from God or source or the universe but the initial spark of consciousness comes from a place of true safety, of the feeling of home.

Speaker 1:

In a way that I don't know a whole ton of people who really have that deep knowing, that home, that safety, that belonging that we're all seeking, and so a lot of times what I try to do with people is I try to get them to go back inside themselves and get them to go back inside their being and their essence and find that place, go back in time, go back in your journey and find where home is. And we can do this through meditation or hypnosis, or we can just allow ourselves to drift and to find this place for ourselves and sit in that feeling. Because what I believe is that once we find a little bit of safety or a hint of it, a thread we can feel it for a moment, it's a lot easier to pull it back into this being. And if we can at least know what we're working towards, it's like we've learned a new word or we've learned a new meaning of something and we're okay. Now how do I try it on, how do I apply it to myself? And we can bring it down into our system and we can go. That's what I'm chasing, that's what I want to experience regularly, not just in a moment, in a meditation, in my mind, but I want to experience that full body every day. And once we have that at least idea, and if you're a person who has felt safe at certain points in your life, you can use that to be the experience you're looking for. Again, either way, you just need a feeling, a knowing, an outcome that you're creating for yourself, because without a goal, you're not going in any specific direction. And so we're kind of basically trying to point our ship essentially in the direction of safety, something that we know or we feel or we can believe in our minds. And once we have that, then we need to start to look at what parts of us aren't safe.

Speaker 1:

Now, for me, the thing that's most important safety-wise is my being safety in my mind and being safe in my physical experience. For me as a mom, my physical safety is hyper important. It is the thing I fought for, it is the thing I will always fight for and it's non-negotiable for me. There is nothing. I won't do nothing, I won't push through in order to make sure that me and my kids are safe, and I have done it more than once in my life and I hopefully don't have to do it a whole lot more times because it's just going to be part of my experience. But it's non-negotiable, and if it feels like things are coming unsafe in a physical way, even if that's just financially unsafe in order for us to have a roof over our heads. I'm going to take action to do something about it.

Speaker 1:

But the only way that I'm going to take action to do something about it is if I also have safety in my mental space, if I also have safety in my head where I can plan, where I can understand, where I can take things apart and try them on and try out different trajectories or possibilities, and I can trust my knowing to guide me to the direction that I need to go. And so mental safety allows me to trust myself implicitly, to trust the decisions that I'm going to make, to trust the possibilities to play out scenarios and to then make a choice and follow that choice through with physical action over and over, until I create the reality I want. And for me, that's how manifestation works, that's how creation works, that's how really doing anything and creating safety started with me feeling safe in my mind and trusting myself and following that through to create the physical outcome I needed. And once I did that and I understood what mental and physical safety truly meant, I was able to start working on emotional and spiritual safety. I was able to start opening up to the fact that my nervous system had been in fight or flight forever and that I didn't feel safe in my body if I was feeling any emotions, because they were overwhelming and unknown and foreign and I just want to stuff them away and not look at them. But I also realized it was okay to start feeling things once my physical environment was safe, because for me I was able to kind of understand and see that the emotions that were coming up were giving me information. They were my body reacting and the times that I had ignored myself, those emotions had been stored. And now that I wasn't ignoring myself and I was trusting myself, I was able to look at them and understand them in a different way. And by doing so and creating emotional safety for myself, I was also opening myself up to understand more of the universe, to connect to more of myself and to step into a sense of spiritual safety and a sense of understanding for my spiritual being and my spiritual self. And so for me that's how I operate.

Speaker 1:

But just as I was talking about all the different energy types and the different ways that people manifest, there's a different way that people also create safety. And if you're not a mental person like me and you're not in your head like I am, and you're not focused on making sure you understand everything about the world and you're not focused on making sure that the puzzle that you're putting together makes sense for you and everything you're trying to do. You're going to have to create safety differently than I do, because, well, your navigation system, your guidance system, just doesn't work like mine does. The way you focus your outcomes and manifestations is different, and so for anybody out there who is thinking, okay, well, I'm not quite like that, I know people like that and that's great for them, but I don't work like that the most, the most unsafe people that I have come across when I first started reaching out to people to talk about the different energy types and talk about the ways that they were struggling, I want to say at least 50% of them, if not more, were emotional types.

Speaker 1:

The emotionals out there in the world, especially those in the spiritual and healing communities, have been unsafe for the majority of their lives, and as I switch into that energy and I feel into them, I automatically start to feel this emotion rise in my being because I can feel for them how deep that wound goes. Most emotionals that I have met and spoke to have never felt safe from early childhood. They came out into this world with huge emotions, huge empathy, feeling everything going on in all of their environments, feeling the overwhelm from their parents, feeling un-safety from mother, caregivers, feeling everything. And, depending on when they were born or who they were raised by, most of them also were told we don't act like that, feelings are too big, it's too much. All of the reasons they were told not to be themselves. They were told those big emotions aren't okay and they're not safe. They were told you can't cry that much. They were told they were too sensitive. So many things they were told as children.

Speaker 1:

That has created this belief that emotions like they have them aren't okay and aren't safe. And because who they are is an emotional being and their primary guidance system, their primary navigation, their primary way that they learned to trust themselves is through their emotions. Well, they have a different set of challenges and for those people, safety seems really hard because the emotions are really big. And how am I supposed to feel safe in my emotions when there's so much of it? And my mom is this way and my sister is this way and I have really close friends this way and what I want anybody out there who is resonating with this emotional message to understand is it's not about changing the emotions, it's not about allowing them to be anything they are or aren't. It's about finding safety in the full spectrum of the emotions.

Speaker 1:

And that's what I want to tell you about the trauma of the emotions, because what I've also found is that a lot of emotionals it's okay to have some kinds of emotion. It's okay in some instances to feel sadness. It's okay in some instances to feel anger. It's okay in some instances to feel joy. And there are other people out there who joy isn't safe, or anger isn't safe because it reminds them of a family member they were scared of, and they're not safe because it's too big and too much and too uncomfortable for the people around them or any other version of that, and so they've basically shut parts of themselves off because they are the full spectrum of emotion and they've only allowed themselves to experience half of themselves and they only have half of their guidance system and they only have half of their ability to even connect to the rest of themselves.

Speaker 1:

And so, for an emotional, rather than trying to make the emotions bigger or trying to allow them to come through, what I would suggest instead is to focus on which ones are okay and which ones aren't, and why, because most of the time, there's a story, there's something that happened, there's a memory that pops up that's telling you why you feel that way or why you were told that, and when it shut off or when it got dampened or when it got stuffed away, and we can start to unravel it. With that awareness, we can start to recognize that we aren't that child anymore, we aren't that person anymore. That person may not even be in our life. Who told us that or whatever the thing that happened. We can start to go okay, that's not true today, and that's not true today and I'm safe today.

Speaker 1:

And so how does that feeling that was so unsafe actually desire to be expressed? You know I was having this conversation actually with my mother, who I've shared on this podcast that she's going through chemotherapy and struggling with her health, and she's also struggled with emotions and feeling safe in especially anger, and for her anger reminded her of her father, who terrified her as a child, and so she never wanted to do that or be that way to anybody else. But the truth is there's a part of her that's really freaking angry at the cancer. That's really freaking angry about this experience because while she understands on some level that she created it for a lesson, she also doesn't want it to be in her system anymore and she's not been allowing herself to feel that and to move through that. And once she kind of saw that, she figured out okay, I need to go yell about it, I need to go out into the ocean and I need to express the feelings. I need to experience the feelings, and emotionals need to experience the feelings in so many different ways. Sometimes it's through art or music, sometimes it's through screaming or crying or anything of the sort, and sometimes it's through just expressing themselves in whatever way, whatever intuitive thing comes through. And so finding safety in the spectrum of emotions for an emotional is going to be so important for any version of manifestation, for any version of creation, for any version of healing.

Speaker 1:

Because the other big thing for emotionals that I've found is that, because they're so often disconnected from their emotions, what ends up happening is their physical body is what struggles Most. Emotionals, I know, that aren't fully in tune with their emotional selves on the full spectrum also carry a lot of either physical weight, physical illness or disease or some type of physical ailments that they have really, really struggled to reconnect to, to feel safe in their bodies, to feel safe in their mental state, to feel safe in their spiritual state, and often I find they actually have an easier time in their spiritual body because it's not human enough, it's not tangible enough and it's the human experience that's been so damaging and so they stay there. But when they stay there they're ignoring, in a lot of cases, the rest of this experience, just as they shut down parts of their emotional being which is translating through their physical body. In comparison to the way that I get safety in myself, that's vastly different. Right, the way I create safety in my body is so different than how an emotional person would go about it, and the same is going to be true for the physicals and the spirituals. A physical person like my youngest son has to focus on physical safety. They have to focus on feeling safe in their bodies and trusting their bodies, and they have to focus on what that means for them.

Speaker 1:

A lot of physical people often get taught and told they're too much. But it's different. It's a different too much it's. They're moving too much, they're doing too much, they're too loud, all of those things, and I know that on some times I'm even guilty of saying the things to my son because, holy man, that kid does not stop. There are times where I just I need to breathe, and so I've really worked hard on communicating with him what I need and this is my boundary, and it's not about him, it's not about him being something I can't handle, it's just that I need a moment too, because I'm a different kind of person and it's great that he has all this energy, but I can't match it all the time. And helping him to understand that we're all different and so, as part of being part of a community and a collective, is that we have to respect that some of us are different. And it's a work in progress because he's eight, but we're working on it.

Speaker 1:

But I have another friend who's also a physical and has struggled to feel physically safe because as a child a lot of her physical safety was reliant on her parents' decisions, and so she was taught essentially that you have to have somebody else to take care of you, you have to be dependent upon somebody else for validation, and that's a harder one to unwind, because that may have been true as a child, but as an adult that's less true, because we don't necessarily want to be reliant on other people. We don't want to be dependent on a spouse or a parent to continue to take care of us. And so how do we create physical safety If physical safety only ever came from somebody else? And yet that physical safety that came from somebody else wasn't always that safe. And so she's working through that currently and really stepping into this.

Speaker 1:

Okay, when my body says move, I got to move. When I get an action, I got to do it. I got to follow through on every nudge that my body is giving me, because what I'm actually doing is teaching my body that I trust it again. I trust it again. I trust it to take action. I trust it to tell me what's right and what's not for me, and I trust that I'm going to move. When I need to move and when I need to rest, I'm going to rest.

Speaker 1:

And when you start to follow through with yourself in those actions and there's that spectrum of them, right, there's actions in your job environment. There's actions in your home environment. There's actions in how you take care of your body. There's actions in how you communicate with your body. There's all of these different spectrums kind of like the emotions, but in a different way that you have to potentially reconnect to, because there may have been some areas that you listened, in some areas you didn't. There may have been some relationships that worked and you moved easily with, and some that were less easy. And every time you hold that boundary or you take that action step or you do the thing that your body says is correct, you're retraining yourself to trust your body, to reconnect to safety in your body and to really feel like you're present with yourself in a different way. And when you create physical safety, you're opening the door to make sure that you have safety in the rest of you too, because it all has to go through that right, it all has to come through that channel for you, and the physical safety first comes first, and then we connect to our mental safety and we connect to our spiritual safety or our emotional safety. But it all has to be grounded in the physical for a physical person. And then the last connection type is the spirituals.

Speaker 1:

My husband is this type and what I've noticed for him, when he feels unsafe, it's actually usually because the environment around him, people feel unsafe. He generally feels unsafe when I'm spinning about something, or the kids are spinning about something, or the collective is spinning about something, because his emotional beacon is picking up on everybody else's unsafety and he's so connected to the energy beyond himself in a different way that that's what creates anxiety in him, where he starts to feel unsafe. And nine times out of 10, probably like 9.9 times out of 10, he has to remember that most of what he's feeling isn't his own and most of what he's spinning about or is causing anxiety in his body is connected to somebody else or something else, and usually when he remembers that, it starts to dissipate and it starts to go away and it gets a lot easier for him to consciously look at it, to have the mental thoughts about why he may be feeling that way and what he needs to do, if anything, to get re-grounded back into himself, and his focus for safety is always coming back to meditation and nature and quiet time within himself, so that he's feeling his energy instead of everybody else's, and so for him. Doing that allows him to then reconnect back to emotional safety, physical safety and mental safety. But he also has a ton of practices that he is employed to make sure that he always has those connections for himself. And what I want to do is actually give you guys an example of how this looks in a bunch of different types, in a bunch of different people, and how we all differently came back around to it.

Speaker 1:

Last week I was in the process of selling my house in Canada. We had a buyer, the house sale was technically completed but the paperwork wasn't finalized yet, and in Canada, when inspections are done and loans are done or whatever it's considered, subjects are removed and it's sold, but it's usually still another like two, three, sometimes more weeks until the actual papers are signed and money is transferred. And so we were coming up. We were supposed to close in the house last Tuesday, complete, and on Monday the realtor calls me and says so. They called to set up maintenance for the pool. We had a pool and the maintenance people said there was something wrong with the pool. I was like what? What are they talking about?

Speaker 1:

So first time hearing about this, and apparently because of the heat wave that had happened there are a lot of water had evaporated, but the pool maintenance people thought that it was more than normal and they thought there was potential. There was a leak. And so somebody wrote on the notes somewhere in the account that there was a leak. And when they called to set up maintenance, they told them there was a leak. And yet my realtor had just filled up the pool water a week prior. Because of all of this and the water line hadn't moved and basically saying it was just evaporation.

Speaker 1:

But because the pool is a very expensive part of buying a house with a pool, they were freaking out. They wanted to do what's called a hold back and they wanted to basically say we're going to hold back part of the money until we validate that the pool is not broken. And they had also, during the sale process, waived all rights to inspect the pool. They didn't want to at the time and there wasn't anything wrong. And I didn't want to do the hold back. I wanted to be done. I didn't want some potential thing to show up when, it's to my knowledge, I had continued to maintain the pool. I had continued to do everything I was supposed to, but this wasn't like a fishing expedition, and so I said no.

Speaker 1:

I said no and yet there was a part of me that was feeling pretty upset because Technically, the house was sold and they would be in breach of contract and not complete. But there's also another. You know there's some fine print somewhere where they could walk away. They might be walking away from some of their deposit, but they could still walk away, and I was not in a position to keep paying for this house. We've already long moved. We've actually been double paying for houses and the rental we're in right now, and so I didn't want to deal with it. I needed to be done. I needed to be done, but I also didn't want to be done and have them hold on to more money and potentially find something new to me, wrong. And so I said no.

Speaker 1:

But my nervous system was not happy and I was in a heightened state of awareness because not really the financial safety piece, and it actually took me some time to realize what I was even upset about. But I was upset because they were questioning my integrity. They were saying you're trying to hide something from me and we want to validate that and we want to basically go prove that you're hiding something. And they're questioning my integrity through basically bullying tactics to try to hold money which creates financial safety for my family, and that's actually what pissed me off, but at the same time, I also had empathy for them, because that whole area had been under fire and like literally under fire. There was massive wildfires in the area and they had tons of smoke and there was a ton of fear emotionally going on in the whole area. There was a ton of just chaos, and so I recognized that a lot of what they were probably feeling and reacting to wasn't even their own, and yet that didn't give them rights to bully me, and they may be in fear about what may or may not be wrong, but again, that didn't give them rights to bully me and to hold my money at stake.

Speaker 1:

And so I realized that I was feeling unsafe because somebody else was questioning my integrity, and it basically made me start to question whether I was doing the right thing, because I don't want to put somebody in a bad place. I don't want to sell somebody a house where something is broken. That's not my intention, I would not do something like that. And so to be implying it made me question am I doing something wrong? Is there something wrong? Should I have it checked? All of those questions go through my mind, while also being like, no, no, that doesn't even make sense because the water wouldn't have stayed the same.

Speaker 1:

And so that's the spinny place I was in. I was in this spinny place kind of freaking out. We're supposed to close, like tomorrow, what's going to happen? And my husband, as all this is happening and I'm telling him, he starts to have a panic attack or nearly. He's like I feel so anxious, I can't, I don't even know what to do, I'm not okay. Even though it's not actually happening directly to him, it's happening by proxy, because he's feeling the heightened emotions from me, from the buyers, from everybody around, and the kids are, of course, bouncing off the walls, not even aware of what's happening, but fighting with each other doing all of that, and so everybody's reacting to the state of unsafety. And so both he and I go for a walk, get out of the house, talk to the lawyers. We decide to hold our ground and he starts to feel somewhat better.

Speaker 1:

But that whole night I couldn't sleep. I was spinning in my head. I kept telling myself it's going to be okay, it's going to get figured out. And yet my nervous system didn't know that yet, and it wasn't until the next day that I had the realization that they were questioning my integrity and they were utilizing their fear to justify being a bully. Back to me, and once I got that, once I understood it, it's like, oh, that's what's creating unsafety in me. That's almost like a gaslighting behavior that is triggering those memories in my system where I feel like somebody is questioning my integrity, they're questioning who I am, and I'm reacting to it. And I'm reacting to it and justifying back to myself why that's not true, when really what I need to do is hold the boundary that your fear doesn't allow you to bully me.

Speaker 1:

And once that awareness came through, within the hour the sale had completed because we held our boundary, and they eventually agreed to sign. And a week later they sent us a message that they had the pool tested and nothing was wrong, and so all of that for naught. And yet it caused a whole lot of chaos in my system and my husband's system and, I'm sure, in the buyer system, because I'm sure they were also at a heightened state of awareness and freaking out about their new investment. They had also just sold their prior house and needed to move in, and so there's a whole lot of things happening at once, and so one person's fear, one person's freak out, can cause a ripple effect of unsafety in that environment, especially for people who don't quite know how to come back to them, their center, and come back to themselves.

Speaker 1:

And had I not been able to see that and feel that within myself, it probably would have taken a lot longer to unwind, even though the sale would have him completed. I still may have hemmed and hot, I may have agreed to the hold back, I don't really know. But I've done enough work now that I know where my boundaries are and I know what's important, and I know how important it is for me to trust my own judgment and hold my truth strong. And as I do that, it helps the people around me come back to their center too. And so for all of you out there who are listening and going okay, there's like versions of that in my life, where somebody freaks out and then the rest of the family freaks out. How do I, what do I do? How do I not get sucked into it? And I think that's the big key is not getting sucked into other people's stuff, really recognizing what's yours and what's not.

Speaker 1:

And how do you as an individual operate? What kind of energy type are you? What's your primary guidance system that you need to come back to. How do you create safety in that space, whether that's physical body safety, whether that's your mental, your mental body and your mind, whether that's the full spectrum of emotions or whether that's your spiritual self, what's the most important safety for you? First, and always come back to that and use that when things start to happen or you feel your nervous system spiking or there's things going on causing chaos, to remind yourself how you need to be reconnected and how you need to operate and what you need to trust most, as if we can figure out what part of us is guiding us and where our intuition is connected to and where those messages come from. It's a whole lot easier to like.

Speaker 1:

Let the noise go a little bit, because for me, if my nervous system is heightened, I can still find my guidance system in my mind, and so I can find myself and go no, this is true for me, and I can take the action that I need to. For an emotional person, they can still feel that their nervous system is spiked, but they need to feel the emotion that's guiding them and they need to feel the fact that, no, it's an integrity for me to be this way. This is what feels calm and true for me. So I'm doing that and allow myself to experience the full spectrum of emotions as it comes through. And a physical person would need to check with their nervous system and go my nervous system is not feeling safe. What do I need to do and how do I need to move to get my nervous system in a place of safety so that I can trust the messages my body is giving me? And a spiritual person needs to get away from a lot of the noise and come back to self so they can hear their intuition and know what's their truth versus everybody else's. So it's all different. It's all different.

Speaker 1:

The way we operate, the way we create safety and, ultimately, the way we heal from all of these things happening to us is unique to us, and the safety and the unsafety we experience is unique to us. Our experiences create our reality and we repeat that over and over again until we learn and do differently, until we create safety in a different way, so that we stop creating the experiences that are unsafe. And as we start to do that practice, we only then learn to create more positive experiences that are safe, that are fun, that are enjoyable and create excitement and all of those experiences that we all want, but we can't do that while all we have are experiences that are unsafe and no way to unravel it, and so what I want every one of you to do is to really sit with yourself. Are you safe right now in not just your environment, but are you safe in your physical body? Do you feel safe and present with yourself? Do you feel safe in your mental body and in your mind and your thoughts? Do you feel safe in your emotional body and the emotions that come up and down and through the full spectrum from excitement to fear to sadness and everything in between? Do you feel safe in your spiritual body and trusting that you are connected to more than yourself? Do you feel safe in all of you as a whole, as a connected being, as a body of energy and consciousness and frequency?

Speaker 1:

And if you don't, that's the next step. That's the next step for you is to find safety in those places and those pieces, and if you're somebody who wants support with this, I have two current openings for one-on-one clients. I'm only taking a very limited number of people right now, but if this person is you and use this calling to you. Please reach out by website. Amandakwakehealingcom has all of the details. And if that's not your cup of tea and you are somebody who's not either in a position to have one-on-one support or you are somebody who would prefer to just go through this yourself, what I would really suggest you do is to find your guidance system first, find safety in that and find the people who feel safest to see you in that version of you and to the connected, safe energy body. That is your truest form. And when you can start to do that, then you can start to connect to the rest of you. All right, everybody. That is it for today's episode. Thank you so much for tuning in. Lots of love.

Exploring the Concept of Safety
Creating Safety in Mental Spaces
Safety and Emotional Expression in Healing
Trusting and Reconnecting to Your Body
Challenging House Sale Over Pool Issue
Creating Safety and Trust in Ourselves